In a Copenhagen bakery, the most difficult word for a foreigner may not be the name of the pastry, but "please". There is no universal word in Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Icelandic and Finnish that performs the same function as the English "please". However, this does not mean that people in the region ignore politeness.
The topic is examined by Laura Hall in a BBC article published by bTV. It points out that Scandinavian politeness is often expressed in ways that visitors do not immediately recognize – through choice of phrase, intonation, smile or body language.
The request sounds direct, but not necessarily rude
In Denmark, a person can order a cake with the phrase må jeg bede om, which means “may I ask“. This makes the request polite, without using a separate word meaning “please“.
In Sweden, tack – – – is often added to the request itself. In Norway, politeness can be expressed with a raise of the hand, a smile and an appropriate tone. Daniela Humelgren, a Danish language teacher, explains the difference with the peculiarities of local communication:
„Efficiency is valued here and communication is generally direct.“
According to Humelgren, excessive politeness can be perceived as annoying if it delays the conversation or service. Therefore, a short and clear request is not automatically perceived as rude.
Equality changes the language of politeness
Linguist Dr. James Puhovsky of Nynorsk Kultursentrum – The Norwegian Museum of Written Culture – connects this peculiarity with the value of equality in Scandinavian societies. In everyday speech, there is less emphasis on titles, distance, and displays of social status.
More formal addresses such as "Mr." and "Ms." have largely fallen out of common usage. This shift is also linked to Jante's Law - the Scandinavian idea that no one should put themselves above others or consider themselves more special.
"Language is more than words. It's also about how you present an idea," says Puhovsky. Therefore, in the region, politeness may depend more on the way a request is made than on the presence of a special word.
How to behave as a tourist
For visitors, the safest guide is the locals and the specific situation. Hummelgren recommends observing the tone, gestures, and mannerisms of locals when addressing staff and strangers.
Words of thanks also play an important role: tak in Danish, takk in Norwegian and Icelandic, and kiitos in Finnish. Research on the Swedish tack associates it with equality and reciprocity rather than with emphasizing subordination or higher status.
Therefore, a tourist who orders a coffee without a separate word for “please“ is unlikely to be perceived as rude. In Scandinavian countries, good manners do not disappear - they just don't always fit into one word.
Sources: btvnovinite.bg