My grandmother often said: if we survive the winter, then we will live a little longer. She belonged to the generation of the mid-20th century, in her life she experienced deportation with two small children from Lithuania, years of war, hunger and cold.
To me, as a child, it seemed like an old man's proverb, acting like a spell: if we survive the winter - we will live longer. Perhaps only now do I realize exactly what she meant - now, when I am experiencing times of bone-chilling cold and worry about the condition of those who depend on me. Yes, those were scary times, and most people, unlike today, had never heard of comfort - we are spoiled by conveniences and comfort, which is why the cold affects us emotionally more strongly.
Without light, heat and water
Often times, when we talk to foreign partners and they ask us how we feel in Ukraine, we feel a misunderstanding. But some things simply cannot be understood, even with strong empathy, since there is no physical and emotional experience of such an experience.
The average temperature in apartments in Kiev with weak, but still existing heating, is about +12°C. But there are homes where there is no heating at all and there is +5°C. And there are even worse. On the street at night it is up to -25°C. Even at +12°C in the apartment, my elderly parents, who are almost 90 years old, instantly fell ill, although they are not alone, but are well dressed and cared for. It is simply more difficult for an elderly person to retain heat. What can we say about those who are left alone in an apartment and are completely dependent on the availability of electricity?
Mothers put up tents for their children in the rooms – perhaps this terrible reality will remain in their memories as a game. In the kitchens, refractory bricks are heated, which then slowly give off heat. Charging stations? Not everyone can afford them, and sometimes they should not be used, because in old houses there is an old electrical installation. Batteries do not last and explode, and repairing all this is extremely difficult. There is no electricity for an average of 19 hours a day – but this is still a good scenario, because it is often much worse: it only turns on for half an hour every three days, and then darkness swallows you up again. Since there is no electricity, the pumps also do not work, so there is no water.
The young and healthy can bear it more easily, but the rest?
The lack of light affects the nervous system, emotions, and reduces the ability to act. However, a person still has to take their child to kindergarten or leave them home alone to go to work alone, even if they have to get up at two in the morning to wash clothes, boil water for a thermos, prepare something to eat, wash themselves, and take the dog out.
Illnesses and the need for surgeries or chemotherapy have not disappeared either, and the question of how to provide electricity to a person who will not survive if they are on systems both mobilizes you and leads you to despair. All this often has a numbing effect: a person seems to freeze and tries to conserve their strength, as far as this is possible. On the other hand, a desire arises to be socially useful, to help others, to interact with them.
Some take care of lonely neighbors, others pick people up from stops when transport is late, restaurants heat up food, and wherever there are generators, they allow charging of chargers and phones, and in supermarkets they put benches so that people can rest while waiting. People come together and join forces. Of course, when it comes to young, relatively well-off and relatively healthy people, all this is easier to bear. What about the rest?
Russia is committing a war crime akin to genocide
Living under such a regime is extremely painful and there are always people who are unable to survive it if they are not provided with timely assistance. For me, the most important thing is not that the world sympathizes with us - there is so much pain and death that goes unnoticed. I would like the world to understand that the Russian Federation is committing a huge war crime that resembles genocide. And if the world does not interpret what is happening in this way, it becomes a mute and powerless witness to a large-scale crime.
The availability of freely available information about what is happening does not allow you to hide behind the cowardly argument: “We did not know“. I write so that it is known. We are a very vibrant and inventive nation, we marry life, optimism, and childlike joy. They call us unwavering, resilient, and indomitable - people who make fun of the situation with witty memes, organize neighborhood gatherings in the courtyards of Kiev, and hold discos in supermarkets. In the world's imagination, Ukrainians are not ideal victims, because they are not gray, they are not poor, they are not submissive, and the footage of life in Kiev sometimes does not look so spectacular, heavy, and scary.
This is simply our Ukrainian way of dealing with what is happening to us, and it is not easy for us. This is an attempt to feel alive, to live according to our character, regardless of the crime that the Russians are committing against us. We, Ukrainian men and women, are here and now victims of Russian war crimes that cannot be ignored. We are also here to help the victims.
Larisa Denisenko is a Ukrainian writer, journalist, and human rights activist.